Laugh A While - Mulla Nasrudin

 

For those of U who do not know, Mulla Nasrudin is an interesting character from Persian Folklore & lots of amusing stories are spun around him.... Mulla continues to evolve with time & even today his sense of wit & ironic absent-mindedness bring smiles to millions. Read on below to have a glimpse into Mulla's interesting world:

 

 

The young lady's hopes had been high for two years while Mulla Nasrudin remained silent on the question of marriage. Then one evening he said to her, "I had a most unusual dream last night. I dreamed that I asked to marry you. I wonder what that means." "That means," said his girlfriend, "that you have more sense asleep than you have awake.”

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Mulla Nasrudin had been calling on his girlfriend for over a year. One evening the girl's father stopped him as he was leaving and asked, "Look here, young man, you have been seeing my daughter for a year now, and I would like to know whether your intentions are honorable or dishonorable?" Nasrudin face lit up. "Do you mean to

say, sir,” he said, “that I have a choice?”

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Mulla Nasrudin's mother, worrying about her son's safety, said to him: "Didn't I say you should not let that girl come over to your room last night? You know how things like that worry me." "But I didn't invite her to my room," said Nasrudin. "I went over to her room. Now you can let her mother does the worrying."

 

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"Well, young man, I understand you want to become my son-in-law," said the father to his daughter's boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin. "No, sir, not exactly," replied Nasrudin. "But if I marry your daughter, I don't see how I can get out of it."

 

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A girlfriend at a cocktail party said to Mulla Nasrudin, "I keep hearing you use the word 'idiot;' I hope you are not referring to me." "Don't be so conceited," said the

Mulla. “As if there were no other idiots in the World!”

 

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The young lady became angry with her boyfriend, Mulla Nasrudin, and said, "You are a perfect dope!" "Don't try flattery," said Nasrudin. "None of us is perfect!" 

 

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One night, Mulla Nasrudin's father noticed a light in his barn. He went to see what it was all about and he found Nasrudin with a lantern, all dressed up. "What are you doing all dressed up and with that lantern?" asked his father. "I am going to call on my girlfriend, Dad," said Nasrudin. "I have got to go through the woods and it is dark." "When I was your age calling on my wife for the first time," said the father, "I went through the woods without a lantern." "I know," said Nasrudin, "But look what you got, dad!”

 

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"Darling," said the young woman,” I could die for your sake." "You are always promising that," said Mulla Nasrudin, "But you never do it."

 

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Mulla Nasrudin, who was really unaccustomed to public speaking, arose in confusion after dinner and muttered hesitatingly: "M-m-my f-f-friends, when I came here tonight only God and myself knew what I was about to say to you and now only

Got knows!”

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Mulla Nasrudin's young wife, recently returned from her honeymoon, was complaining to her friend about her husband's drinking habits. "If you knew he drank, why did you marry him?" her friend asked. "I did not know he drank," said Nasrudin's wife, "until one night he came home sober." 

 

*****

 

Mulla Nasrudin, who had just passed his test for his first-aid certificate, was on his way home. Suddenly, he saw a man lying face down in the street. Without a second thought, he threw himself upon the man and began applying artificial respiration. After a while, the man raised his head and said, "sir, I don't know what you are trying to do, but I am trying to fish a wire down this manhole." 
 

*****


Mulla Nasrudin was drunk and at a football game was making such a nuisance of himself that the people around him threatened to call the police if he didn't sit down and shut up. At that he shouted, "show me a policeman, and I will show you a dope." The words were no sooner spoken than a big six-foot policeman arrived on the scene and said: "I am a policeman." "Wonderful!" said Nasrudin. "I am a dope!"

*****


"You don't love me any more," said Mulla Nasrudin's wife through her tears. "When you see me crying, you never ask why." "I am sorry, Darling," said Nasrudin, "but that sort of question has already cost me an awful lot of money."

 

*****

The hay wagon had upset in the road and the young driver, Mulla Nasrudin, was terribly worried about it. A kindhearted farmer told the young fellow to forget his troubles and come in and have some supper with his family. "Then we will straighten up the wagon," the farmer said. The Mulla said he didn't think his father would like it. "Oh, don't worry about that," said the farmer. "Everything will be all right." So Nasrudin stayed for supper. Afterwards he said he felt better and thanked the farmer. "But," he said, "I still don't think my father will like it." "Forget it," said the farmer. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?" "He's under the hay!" said Nasurdin.

*****


Mulla Nasrudin was applying for a job. "Does the company pay for my hospitalization?" he asked. "No, you pay for it," the personnel director said. "We take it out of your salary each month." "The last place I worked, they paid for it," said the Mulla. "That's unusual," the personnel man said. "How much vacation did you get?" "Six weeks," replied the Mulla. "Did you get a bonus?" the personnel man asked. "Yes," said the Mulla. "Not only that, they gave us an annual bonus, sent us a turkey on Thanksgiving, gave us the use of a company car and threw a big barbecue for us each year." "Why did you leave?" asked the personnel director. "They went busted," said Nasrudin. 

*****

Mulla Nasrudin got on a double-decker bus and climbed to the upper deck. A few minutes later, he staggered down the steps, muttering to himself. "Is anything the matter?" asked the driver. "It isn’t safe up there," said Nasrudin. "No driver." 

*****

Mulla Nasrudin used to say: "Every man should have at least one wife, because there are something that just can’t be blamed on the government.”

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The lady said to Mulla Nasrudin at the door, "Have you ever been offered work?" "Only once Lady," said Nasrudin. "Aside from that, I have met with nothing but kindness.”

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The judge was questioning Mulla Nasrudin. "I understand that your wife is scared to death of you," he said. "That's right, your Honor," said the Mulla. The judge leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Man to man," he said, "how do you do it?" 

*****

Mulla Nasrudin reported to the superintendent of the mental hospital and asked: "Have any of your male patients escaped lately?" "Why do you ask? Said the superintendent. "BECAUSE, " said the Mulla, "someone has run off with my wife.”

Mulla Nasrudin was chatting with his master who had taken up art. "When I look at one of your paintings, Sir," he said, "all I can do is stand and wonder." "Wonder how I do it?" asked the master. "No," said Nasrudin. "Why you do it." 

*****

Mulla Nasrudin approached a gentle appearing, elderly man with his tale of woe and a request for assistance. The old gentleman refused him, saying, "I am sorry, my friend, I have no money, but I can give you some good advice." The Mulla said in a disgusted tone, "No thanks, if you aren’t got no money, I don't guess your advice is worth anything, sir." 

*****

A man said to his friend Mulla Nasrudin: "Who is the boss in your house?" "Well," said Nasrudin, "my wife assumes command of the children, the servants, the dog and the parakeet. But I say pretty much what I please to the goldfish."

*****

What in the world happened at the picnic yesterday?" a fellow asked Mulla Nasrudin. "They are saying around the tavern that you acted like a coward." "Well, I am no fool," the Mulla said. "Some of the girls found a big hornet's nest in the top of a tree and dared me to climb up and get it. And I just didn't do it, that's all." "Whether you were smart or not," said the friend, "That sort of thing makes you unhonored and unsung around here." "That’s right," said Nasrudin, "but I am also unharmed and unstrung.”

*****

Mulla Nasrudin's wife said to him at a buffet supper: "That's the fifth time you have gone back for more fried chicken. Doesn't it embarrass you?" "Not at all," he said. "I keep telling them I am getting it for you."

*****

Mulla was sitting in a station smoking when a woman came in, sitting beside him, remarked: “Sir if you were a gentleman, you would not smoke here!” “Madam said the mulla, “If ye was a lady he’d sit a little farther away” Pretty soon the woman burst out again: “If you were my husband I’d give you poison!” “Well Madam,” returned mulla, as he puffed away at his pipe, “if you were my wife, I’d take it”

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Mulla was told that he would lose his phone if he didn’t retract what he had said to the general manager of the phone company in the course of conversation over there. “Very well, Mulla Nasrudin will apologize,” he said. He called main 7777.
“Is that you Mr. Do Little?”
“It is.”
“This is Mulla Nasrudin.”
“Well?”
“This morning in the heat of discussion I told you to go to hell!”
“Yes?”
“Well,” said Nasrudin,”don’t go!”

*****

The editor of town weekly received this letter from Mulla Nasrudin: “Dear Sir: Last week I lost my watch which I valued highly. The next day I ran an ad in your newspaper. Yesterday, I went home and found my watch in the pocket of my brown suit. “Your paper is wonderful.”

*****

Mulla Nasrudin, a distraught father, visiting his son in a prison waiting room, turned on him and said: “I am fed up with your record: attempted robbery, attempted burglary attempted murder, attempted assassination. “What a failure you have turned out to be; you can’t succeed in anything you try out.”

*****

After a long period of failing health, he finally called a doctor.
“You are in serious trouble,” the doctor said. “You are living with some terrible evil thing; something that is possessing you from morning to the night. We must find what it is and destroy it. “SSSSSH, doctor,” Said Nasrudin, “you are absolutely right, but don’t say it so loud - she is sitting in the next room and she might hear you.”

*****

Mulla Nasrudin, shipwrecked, was finally washed ashore on a strange island. He was glad to be on the land, but afraid he must be among the wild and unfriendly natives, so he explored cautiously, and at last saw smoke from a fire rising from the jungle. As he made his way slowly through the woods, scared half to death, he heard a voice say, “Pass that bottle and deal those reds.” “Thank God!” cried Mulla Nasrudin. “I am among civilized people!”

*****

Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends rented a boat and went fishing. In a remote part of the lake they found a spot where the fish were really biting.
“We’d better mark this spot so we can come back tomorrow,” Said the mulla. “O.k., I will do it.” Replied his friend. When they got back to the dock, the Mulla asked, “Did you mark that spot?” “Sure said the second, “I put a chalk mark on the side of the boat.” “You Nitwit,” said Nasurdin. “How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?”

*****

A policeman arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"
"How do I know?" the driver responds. "I'll have to check with my lawyer!"

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