HE AND SHE

(SHE INCLUDES HE)

By

Madan Saluja, CEO, Amar Management Pvt. Ltd., Ahmedabad

What is a man? A man is a creature of superlative intelligence who can understand the principles of satellite weather forecasting, the atomic bomb, the Computer and the share market. Be he cannot understand how to fold his own shirt. He also can’t understand how to boil milk without burning bottom.

A man has a remarkable memory. He can recall the score of 1968 Cricket Test match between India England at Lords, the number of seats each political party won and the number of votes polled by Ruling party in the last elections and the mileage of his first car. But he can’t remember what size socks he wears, the age of his children and in what classes his children are studying.

And what is a woman? A woman is a scatter brain who can’t read a slide - rule, can’t follow a road map, can’t remember what beats what in bridge, what is her husband’s office telephone number and is vague about the make and model of the family car. But she can recall vivid details of the embroidery and frills on the blue silk saree she wore on her engagement and she can mentally calculate the dhobis bill, while she is ironing a blouse, helping one child compose a letter to his teacher and listening to another child’s complaint of his friend.

A man has astounding manual expertise. He can undo a hopelessly tangled badminton net. He can repair an electric plug, fix a carburetor, operate a power saw and park a 17 foot car in a 16 foot parking space. A woman can’t do anything like that. She has great difficulty in opening a jar of pickles. But she can unjam a stuck zip. She can remove a hot pan from burning stove with bare hands.

A man is decisive. He can make instantaneous decision about mergers and advertising campaigns, Production Programme and new shares issue. But he has to appeal to his wife to help him decide which tie to wear with his blue suit and what present to give to his close friend on his birthday.

A man can’t bear a baby crying in the middle of night and continues to sleep undisturbed. But if a child taps the table while he is talking to some one on telephone, he gets perturbed.

A man has calm, philosophic attitude about losses in his friend’s business or the burning of his neighbour’s house, but he becomes a bundle of nerves when he does not get a proper seat in train or plane or a room in a chosen hotel on a holiday.

Men are practical, hard headed, realists, quite unlike women, who are notoriously child-like when it comes to anything concerning money. A man can prove that buying a new car is cheaper in the long run than getting two new tires for his old car.

A woman wants a new saree - when she wants one and does not care whether her husband can afford it or not.

All in all, a man is absolutely indispensable. He is brilliant, resourceful, brave, strong, steady and rock to lean upon. But it is his utter helplessness that’s his greatest asset because it gives his wife knowledge and assurance that she is indispensable and he can’t get along without her. As indeed he cannot.

Come to think of it, this isn’t such a bad state of affairs.