Laugh A While - English Language Goof-Ups


Non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate
with their English-speaking tourists. Here are some typical examples:

Cocktail lounge, Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Doctor's office in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner from Japan:

Cooles and heates: if you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.

In a Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

On the grounds of a Nairobi private school: No trespassing without permission.

In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant: Open seven days a week, and weekends too.

The best!!! In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

Hotel, Japan:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Hotel, Zurich: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

A laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Japanese cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves


Contributed by Mr. Mark Parkinson from Ahmedabad, India